Last Saturday morning, I received a message from a female blog reader asking for tips on how to find a Husband ...especially in this holiday season.
Darling,
I can neither give you any predefined formula for getting a Husband, nor promise that you'll find a Husband by using one. However, I'll share advice/tips/hints that I've received or heard of from disparate sources, in my not-too-many years as an adult :) I suggest you buckle up, it's gonna be a rough ride.
1) Attend weddings and other events - invited or not - and be visible(whatever that means)
2) Don't be picky. Every Man you meet could be 'the one'
3) Don't have a Car, not to mention a Driver or the Men will think you'll be too much to handle.
4) Volunteer in Church & join the 'Singles' forum
5) Don't have your own place or live by yourself.
6) You're fat. Shed some weight
7) Don't be skinny, Men like something to hold on to
8) Don't be too educated or successful. You'll intimidate the Men.
9) Tell everyone you're single and searching.
10) Surf social media for potential Husbands. Join online dating sites.
11) Be homely, stay Indoors. Don't be seen out too much
12) Go out more. How will you be seen indoors?
13)Don't keep male friends. When you're seen with them, potential Husbands get discouraged.
14) Hang around more males. One of them could be the one or have a friend that could be the one.
15) Don't be hard to get. You'll drive the Men away7) Don't be skinny, Men like something to hold on to
8) Don't be too educated or successful. You'll intimidate the Men.
9) Tell everyone you're single and searching.
10) Surf social media for potential Husbands. Join online dating sites.
11) Be homely, stay Indoors. Don't be seen out too much
12) Go out more. How will you be seen indoors?
13)Don't keep male friends. When you're seen with them, potential Husbands get discouraged.
14) Hang around more males. One of them could be the one or have a friend that could be the one.
16) Be hard to get. Treat them mean, keep them keen.
17) Don't be desperate or portray desperation in your behaviour. You'll scare the Men away
18) Don't wear make up or hair extensions. Be natural
19) Invest in good hair, makeup and clothes. Dress up, look good and attract the Men
20) Keep busy; find a job, get another degree, pursue new interests like floral arrangement or star-gazing. Live your life, be happy and the Man will come.
21) Review all your past boyfriends/toasters, male friends and acquaintances. You've probably already met the one and locked him in the friend zone.
22) Pray and fast about finding a Husband day/night. Change Churches if you must. Consult Pastors or Prayer Warriors on any potential suitors and submit their names and pictures for spiritual guidance.
Confused??? You and me both honey. The struggle is real!
Got any more advice/tips/hints? Share in the comments.
PS - Is anyone giving single guys similar advice/tips/hints? What are they?
xoxo...
Girlfriends.
Hohoho. She can try hobbies like learning to hypnotise chickens. Hohohoho. This your post will only confuse singles more. But was really funny.
ReplyDeleteLOL! @ hypnotize chickens! My dear, the confusion has it's own level of operation. We keep getting all sorts of advice.
DeleteLmao @No.2...Every Danfo Driver, Okada rider and male street hawker could be the one #justmyinterpretation...hehehe
ReplyDeleteLOL! Who knows the current situation of the girl? These people you mentioned are "a dream come true" for some people. Plus babes step down all the time too. Haven't heard of the lady that married her Driver?
DeleteHmmmmm...she probably sought spiritual guidance @22 #Notmybusiness
DeleteTo each his own...*whistles and walks away*
OK just like Nikky,am confused as well��...Be be mean, don't be mean..Get more degrees,don't be too educated. Well i for one imma keep reading and getting em degrees till the day i kiss the earth��, ahn ahn which kin life be dis..Women are subjugated too much already. #sigh, let the men also act these ways so i can make a choice..oginidi!��..
ReplyDeleteIt's all so confusing, these tips we get. LOL! I'm really interested in knowing the kind of tips the Men get for finding a Wife.
DeleteTheir biz not mine, i feel all these preps n strategies are also tools to fleeting marriages cos in a situation where a girl has to pretend and act in some way just to get a man, dat union just might not work.#justsaying. I wanna meet my man in the oddest way, you know life's fun.we need to be free n savor the moments not just sticking to some boring rules dat may or may not work. I don't evn go to weddings or occassions so how is that rule gon work on my side,*tears*..Abeg Yolo bby, in de end we no owe god our marriage certificate..Lol
ReplyDeleteExactly. Just do whatever makes you happy, Man or no.
DeleteAs is in the beginning of the post... there's really no guarantee on any formula one may come up with.
Lmao @ u no dey owe God marriage certificate.I have heard plenty advice that haff tire me. Some say go to church, others say ahh church brothers can pretend. At this rate, I'm just gonna chill and the guy (husband) will fall on my head (heaven sent things) hehehehehe
DeleteDon't be too vocal, Ladies are supposed to be mysterious, if you talk, you give yourself away. Then, for christsakes speak up! Guys aren't patient enough to be drawing you out. Engage them in discussion or air your views on one or thing or the other.
ReplyDeleteDon't look them in the eye. Only brash girls do that. Look anywhere but at them, draw them in with your imagined timidity.
Babe look up when they are talking to you. You don't expect them to keep trying for your attention do you?
If you meet and they don't call you back, call them back naaaa, the phone works both ways. Show you are interested.
Never call a guy first. Are you desperate or what? Let him chase you first.
I tire o!
This is what I'm talking about! LOL!
DeleteThanks for sharing Babe
lmao...this is madness
DeleteI hear u gf...hv tried d online thing is not working for me , d guys I came across were all "bongcoms" according my people , d were interested in nude pics, boobs or ass, d think every girl is a hore, d say derogatory stuff n send disturbing pictures of themselves without ur permission finally delete my account
ReplyDeleteAm not sure I understood what u mean by don't b desperate.. If I may ask what is d right age to admit one is desperate?
Darling..lol once u turn 30 ur desperate to marry whether u pretend or accept it ur biological clock is thinking really fast @ this point...I hear some ladies spew crap that d r not ready "get out of here menh" I wanna tell u some...nm u ain't find d man yet!!! As for me i believe am desperate, in fact over desperation d worry me.. Now am off to mountain of fire power must change hand .. In adele's voice Hello from d other side...
Hmmm. Dear, I don't think it's wise to be desperate o. The thing about guys is that they can smell desperation a mile away and will take advantage. This is true talk. A confident woman is a huge turn on and I know this cos I asked a couple of guys. I even learnt men are innately hunters. No one wants food that is thrown at them. I also turn 30 in a couple of months lol and as much I will love to jump into the dating scene, I'm not desperate ,wearing my confidence like a cloak and it seems to be drawing male attention. All d best dear
DeleteLol. Preach Girl...
DeleteNicky dear, please understand Eme... It's Nigerian reality (at least I'm sure of Nigeria)... These days, maybe the desperation age has hit 35 since unlike before when it was University-Husband's house, more women are finding themselves outside of marriage first before getting into the union or maybe it's the fact that a lot of women looked up to in the western world are single till 40 self.. But eventually, desperation comes without permission and demands to be felt. So you become desperate. I'm just 25 and my single friends no plenty again. Now on Friday I'm just there on my bed with Pringles watching Big Bang theory coz my TGIF buddies are there making babies. I too want to have something to contribute when they are talking about Inlaws n school fees na
DeleteYeah, you have a point there...
DeleteDesperation kind of springs up on you. You have to make a conscious effort to squelch it.
This entirely made my morning ��������.. The struggle is real on every side... Good to know it's not just me... 1st, every one pushed me to choose a career and go all the way. Now I want to buy car, they say no... Oya let me go back for PhD, mama says marry first. Oya let me date my spec (actor) I have crushed on him tire... He has finally noticed me.. My dad says that can't be Gods plan for an educated girl like me.. Huhhhhh?????
ReplyDeleteLOL! You're not alone dear. Hang in there and try to do whatever makes you happy. *hugs*
DeleteThe truth is... one may love the 'you' you try to hide...just be real, be yourself and 'He' come
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post, I am seriously considering being a bonze. Maybe the first Nigerian one. It is so unfortunate that husband is a success tag for the African woman. Anyway,there is still hope after my friend who has earned an "aunty" title for being single suddenly got married to her college sweetheart. As for me,I will still pursue my dreams while I wait *getting a black belt (a killer skill for some African marriages) and a Ph.D* because the world has not ended yet.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Goodluck with the Bonze quest and that black belt.
Delete